10 Reasons That the Best Bond Is Not Who You Think It Is

This Friday marks the release of the latest film from director Sam Mendes called Spectre, which follows the exploits of James Bond as he fights bad guys and finds a new boss, not played by Judi Dench (R.I.P.). With many people flocking to theaters to see what happens next, there's likely one question on the tip of everyone's tongue: Who is the best Bond? While most have staunch answers rooted in a few beloved classics, there's actually one one real answer that will be so obvious, that you wonder why you didn't think of it first. In the annals of history, there has only really been one Bond worthy of consideration for the best Bond. Why, you'll be so gobsmacked when  you find out who it is that it'll alter the way that you think forever. You see, the best Bond is one that goes above and beyond that of other Bonds. The best Bond is...

WARD BOND!

But of course! How could one overlook such an obvious and important force in the film world? While many would applaud James Bond for his contribution, they pale in comparison to a man who has been overshadowed by his peers, who were, I don't know; John Wayne, James Stewart, Vivien Leigh, Humphrey Bogart, Natalie Wood, John Ford, John Huston, Henry Fonda, Spencer Tracy, Clark Gable, Irenne Dunne, Walter Brennan, Joan Crawford, Barbara Stanwyck, Maureen O'Hara, and many, many, MANY more. Who does James Bond have? Why, he's been fighting the same organization for decades now. Spectre? Come on.

But we're not here to pick fights over the lesser Bonds. We're here to commemorate and understand why Ward Bond is the best of all Bonds. The following is 10 staunch reasons why he's not only the best, but why he will likely be more remembered and revered. If you can find any great counterargument, then I'd like to hear it. However, you're not going to find one, I assure you.

Ward Bond in Wagon Train
1. Ward Bond played himself

That's right. There hasn't been anyone quite like Ward Bond solely because nobody else has been able to play himself. From his various movie and TV appearances to his rendezvous throughout the universe, he has been able to proudly claim that he is the one and only Bond. It may not seem like a lot, but just consider that James Bond has an identity crisis-level number of actors who have not only played him, but also has featured Woody Allen (oy gevalt!) as his nephew Jimmy Bond. While it is true that maybe James Bond has had better actors play him, there's something admirable about Ward Bond refusing to give up the right to his own life. He is a true hero in that regards.

Bond in A Gun Named Joe
2. Bond was a more prolific man of the law

In total, James Bond has gone on 24 movie missions. That is no small slouch when you consider other spies. However, that doesn't compare to Ward Bond's impressive career, in which he not only played law enforcement, he did it with such a regularity. From his early film roles, including Arrowsmith in 1931, to his final days with Alias Jesse James in 1959, he played law enforcement. He kept the good in the modern era as well as in various periods throughout history, including in such iconic films as The Maltese Falcon. Earning more than triple the amount of cop roles that James Bond ever earned, he deserves a medal of honor for going above and beyond the call of duty.

Scene from It Happened One Night
3. He wasn't a primadonna about what vehicles he drove

If there's one thing that is loathsome about James Bond, it's his insistence on having the best of the best. Sure, nice suits and fancy gadgets make for a cool poster, but why pick a fight over having the latest cars? You see, Ward Bond isn't that prissy about what vehicles he drives. In fact, he's a man of the people, such as in It Happened One Night; where he drove around his co-stars as they had the night of their life. Did Bond ask for anything in return? Nope. If James Bond drove a bus around, he'd likely ask for a tip and give off some witty remark. Basically, sometimes you need to let go of your ego and drive someone else around. It may not be in a fancy car, but it needs to get done. Your move, James Bond.

Left to right: Clark Gable with Bond in Gone with the Wind
4. He's the highest grossing Bond of all time

Sure, it may not be a gentleman's game to talk about who made the most money. However, it seems worthy of discussion since James Bond is a classist simply by having expensive habits. You see, Ward Bond has had a prolific career, at which point he has helped to rake in a ton of money. Still, his biggest achievement is found in Gone with the Wind. From 1939, the film grosssed $1.7 billion (with a "b") when adjusted for inflation. More people have seen Ward Bond's mug than James Bond. As for 007? His highest grossing film is the 2012 adventure Skyfall, which clocks in at a measly $315 million (with a "m") when adjusted for inflation. Don't let that millennium number ($1.1 billion) fool you. More people have seen Ward than James, and there's no disputing that.

Scene from Sergeant York
5. He's starred in the most Best Picture nominees

While it is likely that the idea of awards may seem like a subjective measurement, there's nothing that spies like James Bond likely want more than to be the best. Well, in film, there's nothing quite like The Academy Awards. And there is no bigger honor than Best Picture. For the sake of comparison, Ward Bond has appeared in 12 Best Picture nominees over the course of his career. Meanwhile, James Bond has failed to even be nominated once, saving most of his wins for technical fields (in James Bond's defense, he does have better theme songs). In fact, Ward Bond's prolific nature is something worthy of applause, as he's among the few actors to be in double digit with the Best Picture nominees. Step up your game, James. Let's hope that Spectre gets you some love.

Left to right: Bond with Ricky Nelson in Rio Bravo
6. He's friends of friends of cripples

There's something to be admired by James Bond's circle of friends. They're all very good at their jobs. However, he's not very good at keeping girlfriends or caring about any facet of humanity outside of his own desires. Sure, saving the world may seem like something a selfless person would do, but what does he do for the individual? Let's face it, Ward Bond has James Bond beat by a mile. In Rio Bravo, he starred as a friend of the Sheriff, whose friend Stumpy was a cripple. Did he discriminate when it came time to save the day? Nope. In fact, Stumpy was included in the rescue mission. Where's your cripples, huh, James? You need to think about being a better equal opportunity employer. And I don't just mean race.

Scene from Young Mr. Lincoln
7. He's been cussed out by future presidents

If there's one thing that comes with the job of being the hero, it's being cussed out by the villain. James Bond is likely used to having the various enemies call him names that hurt his feelings and promote his desire to save the day. However, that doesn't compare to the sting that Ward Bond likely felt when in Young Mr. Lincoln, he came face to face with a future president named, what is it, Abraham Lincoln. During a trial with the then-lawyer, he reveals that his name is Joseph Cass, or Jack for short. Lincoln proceeds to call him a jackass to a room of laughing white people. If James Bond did this, he would be a wreck. While he may be able to handle the criticism of his peers, to have an influential figure assault him is something that he managed to do with dignity.

Bond in The Quiet Man
8. He has a religious side

James Bond is a heathen. He likes to kill meanies and have sex with strange women. While this may be the lifestyle that he's fine with, it's sure no match for the complexity that is Ward Bond. He's not only been able to play a police officer, but he's also been known to get a little preachy from time to time. In fact, he played a priest in The Quiet Man, thus proving that he's not only capable of doing what's right, he's also able to forgive others of their sins. The man is unstoppable. From his love of people who are friends of cripples to his brief stint as a priest, he has shown just how much he loves the people. James Bond on the other hand only saves the world for himself. And besides, he's very demanding of his drink order. What a dick.

Left to right: Bond with Joan Crawford in Johnny Guitar
9. He's not afraid to be the bad guy

Wait, what is this? Ward Bond, the man who upholds the law, has done bad things before? Why, yes boys and girls. He has been the unpleasant man in some scenarios. In Johnny Guitar, he even played a man who lead an angry mob to kick some trouble out of town. It may have not been the right thing to do, but Bond knows how to live with his mistakes. Meanwhile, James Bond has too much of a superiority complex to ever think of doing something that would dare to inconvenience his day to day actions. The most he does is some reckless driving, which is a tad more boring than outwardly disapproving of the new guy in town. At least Ward Bond can sympathize with the bad guy, because he once was one. James Bond, on the other hand, cannot.

Marketing materials for You Only Live Once
10. He only had to live once

Suck it, James Bond. Take your You Only Live Twice philosophy and scram. Ward Bond was so legit that he could proudly say "You Only Live Once." Why? Because he did. He got it right the first time.


Sean Connery as "James Bond"
Are you convinced of who is the best Bond of them all? While I have made some undeniable reasons for why these facts are irrefutable, I am sure that there are those who still see things the wrong way. So, if you think that there's a better Bond out there (but how could you?), please feel free to share your thoughts as to who could possibly top Ward Bond and why. Trust me, it'll be a lot harder than you think.

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