Listmania: Miscellaneous of 2014

Scene from Neighbors

A lot happened in 2014. However, there's too many things that happened that are not all that categorical. This is an entry dedicated to those things that are on a list of their own, whether they be TV, movies, music or even books. Strap in and prepare for the Miscellaneous Top 20 entry of Listmania, which promises to remind you that not everything made sense this year, but at least there's some words to describe them, whether they be good, bad, inessential or even weird. Enjoy and prepare for this year's festivities to only get weirder from here.

Chadwick Boseman

Best Performance in a Disappointing Movie:

Chadwick Boseman in Get on Up

There are few performers who are inherently as exciting as James Brown. His life story is quite a roller coaster of highs and lows. That is why his biopic treatment in Get on Up is kind of disappointing, as it jumps around the eccentric man's life and finds very little substance in each moment. However, the man playing Brown is a charismatic fellow who elevates the film to something worth watching, kind of. Chadwick Boseman, famous for playing Jackie Robinson in 42, delivers a top notch performance in a film that deserved better treatment so that he could be talked about during awards season without getting a few giggles.

Two really big jackasses

Worst Use of Food in Any Medium:

Big Mama's Pizza at The Academy Awards Ceremony

If Ellen Degeneres' meandering hosting wasn't bad enough, she decided to derail the show entirely by ordering pizza for everyone in the Kodak Theater. While it must have been nice to everyone there, it doesn't do anyone at home any justice who wants to see an actual awards show. I don't care how these people eat their food. This is supposed to be dedicated to giving out awards. As a result, the show had to rush towards the end, only proving just how stupid and awful this whole idea was. It may go down as the worst thing to ever happen at the Oscars for the foreseeable centuries to follow.

Alejandro Jodorowsky

Best Unmade Movie:

Jodorowsky's Dune

We've all had some fantasy casting and ideas for some great films. However, what if I were to tell you that Alejandro Jodorowsky was very close to making one of the most insane films of all time that would have been more influential than Star Wars? That is the point of Jodorowsky's Dune, which would have combined some of the greatest names of the time to make one of the most artistic head trips from the man who made surrealistic western El Topo. While the film works better through visuals and Jodorowsky's narration, it still sounds like the most insane thing that you wish was actually invented. Instead, we get David Lynch's Dune, which didn't have the greatest of reputations.

Worst TV Episode (Animated):

Community - "G.I. Jeff"

This is about the point where Community stopped being for me. While I was glad to have Dan Harmon back, his work in the fifth season resulted in some of the most pandering episodes in the show's history. "G.I. Jeff" takes the cake mostly because while it may be consistent with the G.I. Joe parody tonally, it reflects the show falling back on old tropes. The show has done better animated episodes in the past that have dealt with similar subject matter and frankly, the humor in this episode is just very isolating to those who really don't care about 80's cartoons. However, if you need a reason not to care about Community's next season, this is a great place to start.

Jake Gyllenhaal

Most Valuable Performer:

Jake Gyllenhaal

He headlined two of the biggest head trips of 2014. First up was the thriller Enemy, which pitted identity with a lot of spider metaphors and some other unnerving features. Next up was Nightcrawler, which took a look at how guerrilla journalism has evolved into something crazy and scary. Between the two films, he turns in three of the best performances of the year, each showing his various range and skills. If nothing else, this is a year in which he proved that he is the actor who should be having more success. Just look into his eyes and you'll get it.

Best Cinematic Music Not Made for Film:

Lana Del Rey's "Ultraviolence"

Let's just be honest. Lana Del Rey should be more successful in circles who love films. While she has gained a notable career in making great songs for films in the past few years with The Great Gatsby and Big Eyes, she has always showed an ability to turn a song into an art form. She is as much a narrator as she is a performer with her instrumentation backing her up. She incorporates the old with the new in a melancholic gaze that makes songs like "Brooklyn Baby" and "Old Money" into poetic works of beauty. It's cinema of the mind in all of the best ways possible.

Proof That America Still Makes Comedies:

Neighbors

2014 was not a great year for comedies. While some tried to pass of the deplorable 22 Jump Street as the best film of the year, it was nothing but a series of tired gags. Then came Neighbors, which pitted the aging, raunchy Seth Rogen against the juvenile youth lead by Zac Efron. In the process of exploring the differences with getting older, it does manage to feature some of the greatest gross-out humor of the year, thanks largely to a game ensemble. If only more comedies were more enjoyably candid and not the direct product of the studio, then maybe things would work out better. Still, Rogen delivers one hell of a film that is a laugh a minute from the start.

Tracy Morgan

Biggest Reason That Wal Mart Are Jerks:

They Crippled Tracy Morgan, Refuse to Take Blame

There's many reasons that Wal Mart is a very despised company. Even in recent months, employees protested working on Black Friday. However, beyond their questionable corporation dealings, they have taken literally to the streets in the worst way possible. Earlier this year, one of their trucks hit comedian Tracy Morgan in his limo. Since, reports have come out that they refuse to take responsibility for his demise. Sadly, news doesn't look too good for Morgan, who has suffered several major injuries that make many believe that he will never perform again. 

Most Inessential Movie Soundtrack:

Guardians of the Galaxy - "Awesome Mix Vol. 1"

It's fine to use 80's music for a film that is all about nostalgia. However, one of the strangest dupings of the year seems to be that people bought into the soundtrack's "Awesome Mix Vol. 1" moniker despite it being essentially a collection of songs on your parents' record collections. Add in the fact that the album is one of the best selling of the year and it is set to be released as an actual cassette tape, this is going to become embarrassing very quickly. It would be one thing if the songs were obscure. However, they are all ones that you already heard on better soundtracks and albums. So why does this even need to exist?

Best Audience Award (TV):

True Detective

2014 got off to a great start with HBO's latest series True Detective. It quickly became a cultural phenomenon and the weekly dissection of the show's Yellow King became the focus on a lot of social media. As the show continues to develop a very loyal following and several putting it on their Best of 2014 lists, there's plenty to admire about the series, which is proving to be one of the most cutting edge and captivating shows in recent HBO's existence. How will season 2 go? We don't know yet, but if it is anything like this lightning in a bottle, we're looking at something great to come.

Show That You Forgot You Loved:

The Simpsons

Whether or not you stopped watching The Simpsons years ago or are still a fan, you can't deny that 2014 was a big year for them. From their 550th episode "Brick Like Me" that saw an episode made out of LEGO (and their own LEGO line) to their recent crossover with Futurama called "Simpsorama," there's been a lot to celebrate. There was that iconic Every Simpsons Ever marathon lasting 12 days, a Hollywood Bowl concert and even a Family Guy crossover to name a few. Basically, the show was everywhere and it rekindled a lot of people's love for the show in ways that nobody was expecting.

Greatest Glitch in a Live Event

Russia had a lot going on during the Sochi Olympics this past year. There was plenty of controversy and their hard nosed personality made the opening ceremony a perplexing thing to watch. However, nothing was quite as beautiful of a mistake and embodiment of their overcompensation than that of the Olympic logo. As it was risen to the skies, stars opened up to form the rings. Oddly, one didn't open, causing the beautiful mistake seen above that shall forever define the year rather nicely. Not even the showing of Growing Up Fischer that followed the closing ceremony could be seen as baffling as this.

Left to right: Bruce Dern and Will Forte

Great Moments in Pointlessness:

Epix Airs Nebraska in Color

There was a reason that director Alexander Payne released his most recent film Nebraska in black and white. It added a wonderful, Depression-era nostalgia to the film about exploring an old man's past. It is a great film that benefits from the lack of color. However, Epix decided to air it in color against Payne's wishes. The film itself didn't change, but tonally it began to feel more organic, as the scenery became more earthy and less clairvoyant. Oddly enough, after the initial airing, it was hard to find the colorized version ever again.

Greatest Mergers:

Amazon Prime Joins Forces with Classic HBO

While Amazon also had a banner year with Transparent, one of their biggest achievements was getting Classic HBO shows on Amazon Prime. This basically means that if you have a subscription to said program, you can watch all of the iconic HBO series right now for free. If you ever wanted to see The Wire, Six Feet Under or even The Sopranos, it is all available right now. These are crucial TV series in the growth of the medium. If you need an excuse to watch them, please watch them now that you know where to see them for free.

Eva Green

My Guilty Pleasure:

Sin City: A Dame to Kill For

I recognize the nihilistic laziness of the Sin City sequel and that Robert Rodriguez hasn't necessarily made a great movie in years. His sequels have become pandering to the b-movie format. However, there's something about the pristine, soulless structure of this film that I cannot help but enjoy. It broadens Frank Miller's universe and gives more life to characters, notably that of Eva Green. Is it as great or as relevant as the original? No. However, I find enough to enjoy to feel like I am missing something in all of the people who down right hate its pulpy, cynical heart.

The Podcast Love Overkill:

Serial

Listen, I think that podcasts are the future and that they are a wonderful medium. However, this This American Life spin-off has gotten too much credit. Its first 10 episodes are the top downloaded on iTunes at this moment. Also, the story serializing one man's murder trial isn't particularly exciting or the best representation of what the medium can do. However, there isn't anything more baffling than the people who love the show so much that they have dedicated podcasts to it. The most annoyingly named being The Serial Serial. This show is fine and I am glad that it is drawing people to the medium, but enough with the shows dedicated to shows. Find another show to fill up your time already.

Rosamund Pike

Best "Spoiler Alert" Film:

Gone Girl

I have had trouble wanting to talk about Gone Girl not because it is inferior, but because my opinion relies heavily on events not present in the trailers. The film itself works as a story that slowly reveals some of the most creative and enjoyable twists in cinema this year. I find Amy Dunne (Rosamund Pike) to be one of the most fascinating characters of 2014 and probably the perfect update of Norman Bates. It is dark, crazy and an excellent commentary on how media spins tragedy into ratings. I feel bad even dropping some hints to what the movie might be about in this post. Just know that it is excellently written.

Left to right: Jennifer Lawrence and Bradley Cooper

Worst Luck in 2014 by a Cast of a 2012 Film:

Silver Linings Playbook

This may seem baffling and even down right strange. Jennifer Lawrence continued to shine in The Hunger Games: Mockingjay - Part 1 and Bradley Cooper got some credit as a talking animal in Guardians of the Galaxy. However, in terms of rotten luck, they are only two of the pieces to some embarrassing news. Their film Serena, which was shot prior to Silver Linings Playbook is finally being released and the early reviews aren't great. Likewise, director David O. Russell's Nailed is also getting released, though it has been disowned by the man himself. To say the least, the past is coming to haunt these guys next year, and the early reviews are saying that it might not be for the best.

Left to right: Ansel Elgort and Shailene Woodley

Weirdest Role Changes By a Duo Appearing in Two Films:

Ansel Elgort and Shailene Woodley

While the two performers are having a banner year that has gotten Shailene Woodley talks for a potential Oscar, there is one thing that is a little more upsetting. The two have appeared in two films together: The Fault in Our Stars and Divergent. While the former is a great example of teen romance and the latter is an example of awful Y/A adaptations, their roles are rather icky. In the former, they played lovers. In the latter, they were siblings. Try and let that not mess with your head.

Best Metaphor for Your 20's:

Bryan Lee O'Malley's "Seconds"

It has been awhile since we have heard from the "Scott Pilgrim" creator. Thankfully, he still has a lot to say with his most ambitious story yet, which manages to turn eating mushrooms into an excellent metaphor for the protagonist's age. As she is about to leave her 30's, she must come to terms with what's important in her life. The story itself has a lot of supernatural elements and excellent use of visual metaphors despite being occasionally very simplistic in design. Overall, an excellent story that is well worth looking into from a reliable artist whose story embodies the pain of maturing into a responsible adult.