TV Rewind: Freakazoid - "Statuesque"

*Special Note: Due to some scheduling conflicts, I will not be releasing any Freakazoid recaps next week. Make sure to come back on November 24 at noon when everything will be back to normal.

Hello and welcome to TV Rewind, a series that will explore the shows of yesteryear and dissect them one episode at a time. My goal is to explore lesser known programs that you may not be aware existed. For my first series, I have chosen Freakazoid!, a beloved cartoon that ran on the WB from 1995-1997 and made for some weird, Animaniacs-style parodies of the superhero genre. I will attempt to give you the goods every weekend, just like the actual show. While I may not do it every week, make sure to look out for double headers in which I review episodes on Saturday and Sunday.

Statuesque

How does Cosgrove (Ed Asner) bounce back from an episode that practically destroyed him? With the idea that a spin-off with Cosgrove and Dr. Jones (Jonathan Harris) would work. It's a shame that this never happened, especially since the WB did actually make the show Pinky, Elmyra & the Brain (it's a real thing). Still, it is nice to see Cosgrove back to the supporting field, where he proves himself to be very useful and always manages to come across as the highlight.

In this episode, we begin with the return of Jeepers (Jeff Bennett), who is coming from the watch that turns beavers into gold. As the Narrator (Joe Leahy) will have you know, this is not a fruitful expedition. He is now working on a watch that turns everything into stone. When he perfects it, he decides to test it out around town. He runs into Freakazoid (Paul Rugg), who yells at him for being a weirdo and that he needs to get a regular job. 

Also in this episode is Cosgrove and Freakazoid's trip to Jellyland: a place where every piece of art is drawn with preserves and jellies. This fascinates Freakazoid to no end. When he reveals that Jeepers has a new watch, Cosgrove demands that he tries to take it away. Of course, by this time, Jeepers has bought a book on the occult and raised Vorn the Unspeakable (Richard Moll), who is an evil god with a tentacle mouth. Together they decides to go after Freakazoid and capture him once and for all.

One day, Freakazoid is out with Steff (Tracey Rowe), when Jeepers and Vorn come across him. Not believing that Jeepers can turn Freakazoid into stone, he stands in front of the clock's ray only to have Steff push him and thus turn to stone. Brokenhearted Freakazoid ends up being consoled by Cosgrove, who tries to cheer him up by claiming that they could make a lot of money if they sold Steff as a statue to the park. They visit Professor Heiny's (Ed Gilbert) lab and try to see if there is a way to turn Steff back. This doesn't go over well.

Freakazoid is out for revenge, and he's bringing Cosgrove and Dr. Jones along with him in his flying Freakmobile. They go to the corners of the world searching for Vorn, running into the Loss Ness Monster and Wolfman (Moll). Along the way, Dr. Jones grows increasingly afraid because he feels that all hope is lost. Also, in a cramped car, the two sidekicks fight over the map, with Cosgrove winning on sheer basis that he could twist Dr. Jones into funny balloon animal shapes. Their bickering is a delight and could have carried the whole episode.

During a break in Scotland, they begin to realize that they haven't checked Jeepers' hangout spots. This is when they realize that he could be in the very place he resided: Venice Beach (he got kicked out for being too weird). The three head down to the beach and see all of the weirdos, including a hippie that literally sings for the audience to give him money. Dr. Jones, who is pushing the stroller with Steff's stone body, goes on a detour and out of anger tries to sell her for money.

Meanwhile, Cosgrove and Freakazoid finds Jeepers and Vorn hiding out with Hawaiian shirts and funny get-ups. In a final showdown, Jeepers claims that he will turn the two into stone. Freakazoid tricks Vorn into believing that he is talking about him. After dropping a weight from a nearby gym on Vorn's foot, Freakazoid manages to gain control of the fight and turn Vorn into stone. He tricks Jeepers and manages to turn him into stone as well.

With his hands on the watch, Freakazoid takes a close look at it. He discovers the secret to solving his problems. He opens the back and reveals a switch that can reverse the process. He does so, and Steff is back to normal (of course, that is after pulling her out of a thrift shop). The gang celebrates by enjoying Venice Beach while Jeepers and Vorn are locked away in a prison, with the two bickering about a plan gone wrong.

Rating: 4 out of 5

And just like that, Freakazoid is back to normal. I must also applaud the show on finally using a "new" villain (he was introduced though never actually used). I feel like Jeepers and Vorn are just a wacky duo that may work in an offbeat way. So what if Jeepers is too weird and makes watches that does evil stuff? This is all relative to what makes him odd. Having an evil demon as his sidekick almost makes them into an odd comic duo with Vorn being the straight man. While they lack more motive than every single one of Freakazoid's other enemies, they do feature enough ingenuity and wit to be able to often overthrow Freakazoid when things look way too easy (which was this entire episode).

It may seem like an easy concept, but after a few attempts of the show trying to keep things simple and failing, they finally find a formula that works. This could largely be because Freakazoid over thinks his missions and ends up way off course. This is like when Cosgrove asks Freakazoid to go places, but only more fleshed out. Even the appearances of Wolfman and Professor Heiny were rather inspired, considering that this episode kind of felt like a road trip meets revenge story.

I also love the depiction of Venice Beach, which I cannot think of a single other cartoon tackling. From the hippie singing bad music to the other background characters, it almost seems like the real world's craziest place met the craziness of a world narrated by Joe Leahy. Together, they seem almost too at home and that did make for a pretty great third act.

I also will defend the choice to introduce Dr. Jones just because he reinvigorated the Cosgrove character. He can say "cut it out" all he wants, but without Dr. Jones, there is a strong chance (as "A Matter of Love" proved) that it would eventually fall into an unfunny parody of the gem. The brilliance is that Dr. Jones is very uptight and whiny and Cosgrove plays aggressively. Dr. Jones attacks intelligence while Cosgrove attacks strength. This is a perfect match of wits and every time they were pranking each other in this episode lead to some of the series' best moments. 

I still would have loved a Dr. Jones/Cosgrove spin-off, even if it was a short lived program. Those two fighting each other just works very well. Maybe they can try and solve missions only for Dr. Jones to get all scared over minuscule things. The options are endless. It is also odd, because while Freakazoid is an equally fun addition, he seems to be drifting away from those two, and it is okay. 

This was a great episode, if just because it saw the show trying new things and succeeding. While Longhorn is desperately due for a comeback, Jeepers ranks high up there of the show's best villains. He may not do much, but his gimmicks are quite successful and often hilarious. It is a nice change of pace from using the Lobe every week. Also, is this possibly the beginning of an every episode occurrence of Professor Heiny? That would be interesting.

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