A Good January Jones

By Thomas Willett

There is a specific reason that January 1st is considered to be National Hangover Day. Besides the excessive partying until the wee hours of the night, it’s mostly the last fun moment that you will get for a while. In fact, it can be seen as a metaphorical text to the actual months. What happens in December? Ten “great” movies open on Christmas weekend. Entertaining retrospectives and recognizing the achievements of a year that has passed. This is the ultimate gluttony of mass media consummation. It’s the equivalent to drinking yourself silly and thinking that the good time won’t stop.

Then there’s January. The party has to end sometime, so why not do it with a full day of the Rose Parade and a marathon of the Honeymooners? It looks bleak and leaves you in a haze, wondering what exactly happened to make you feel this bad. Did you really need to see those ten “great” movies in one weekend? Why does no one leave any good feelings for January? Why must we get stuck with a bad knock-off of The Last Exorcism?

That’s right. I am implying that January is the movie equivalent to a national hangover. I’m not implying that you have to be drunk to enjoy anything that comes out this month. Matt has assured me that there’s at least a Michael Fassbender movie to tide me over until February. However, it should leave you with a stomach churning, wanting something better. With cinema in your blood,you need an intravenous line feeding you sustenance. This is what I consider to be a bad January jones.

So what can you do to make sure that the jones doesn’t kill you? You could sit around and complain about movies being bad right now, but that’s only perpetuating a stereotype. I can attest that good movies do come out in January. One was called Youth in Revolt,which I’ll admit wasn’t phenomenal, but it was good. It was also 2010 and was the start of the Rooney Mara train. I’m saying to just give movies a chance and see one.

That is not what I am here to talk about. I recognize that Matt has already given enough criticism on the silly season to make whatever I could say seem photocopied. I am here to figure out other ways to quench your January jones without having to go to the Cineplex, drop some cash, and write me a letter saying:

“Gee Thom, One for the Money may be the only good movie that Katherine Heigl has done. She has come a long way since she famously called her only great movie Knocked Up a sexist piece of trash before making the far more sexist 27 Dresses and Life as We Know It.”

I’m fine with you writing me. Just don’t tell me that Heigl is a credible actress after those Knocked Up comments. However, let’s not start a war. Just don’t see One for the Money.

There is plenty going on away from the venues this time of year. For instance, numerous shows have just been uploaded onto Netflix Watch Instant and HBO Go. If you have these services, they’re already hooked up for you. All you have to do is hit play. My advice is that instead of wasting time complaining that there are no good shows on television, prove yourself wrong. There are just not any good ones airing right now (which I’ll prove you wrong in a second).

You may be worried about a long term commitment. You don’t need it to consume months, just a few weeks until the Sweeps start. Speaking of January jones, an actress who has a similar name stars on the Emmy-award winning show Mad Men, which also is coming back in March. Now would be a good time to catch up on the 52 episodes preceding it. How about Breaking Bad, which will enter the last season this summer and be all that I talk about? You can catch the first 33 episodes as well.

Just want to watch some shorter shows? Here’s a list that I recommend: Spaced (14 episodes), My So-Called Life (18 episodes), Party Down (20 episodes), Portlandia (6 episodes), United States of Tara (36 episodes) or Louie season 1 (13 episodes). I love all of these shows and consider it to be well worth your time. I am right now finishing off Terriers (13 episodes)and all I can say is that Matt will agree that you should give it a peep.

Also, don’t be afraid to explore other options. Want to catch up on the Steven Moffat-written Sherlock series on BBC? The first 3 episodes are currently available. By also exploring, you can find small British shows like Ricky Gervais’ the Office (14 episodes). In doing research , I discovered a show called the Take (4 episodes) starring one of my new favorite actors Tom Hardy. I’m sure if I can find something that cool, you can too.

HBO Go is a little harder to route, as they mostly only feature recent seasons of shows. I checked out Enlightened(10 episodes) during the break and it was an okay show with a great cast. Sadly, you only get the last season of Bored to Death (8 episodes), but what a season it was. The reason that I bring up HBO Go separate from Netflix is to provide variety, and explain that HBO and Netflix are not akin to sharing their streaming content. Also, I heard that Hulu was good, but I haven’t used it in years.

I mentioned earlier that there are good shows currently on TV. All of your favorites from the fall (with exception to Community) are back. In addition, 30 Rock premieres tomorrow night on NBC. Two of my favorite shows Portlandia (Fridays on IFC) and An Idiot Abroad (Jan 21 on Science) also start their brief runs. Showtime is taking the lead and introducing a new show with Don Cheadle, Ben Schwartz, and Kristen Bell called House of Lies, though the pilot leaves much to be desired.

I won’t even touch on the Bosom Buddies knock-off Work It or Are You There Chelsea (terrible looking), but the only other show premiering this month that I’ll comment on is the Napoleon Dynamite cartoon. Yes, I was in high school at its peak of popularity and I thought it was okay. As long as we continue to take the Animation Domination Sunday block away from Seth MacFarlane, I’ll be happy. While Allen Gregory failed to do that, I think that Bob’s Burgers is doing a good infantry and maybe Napoleon Dynamite won’t be that terrible and at least make them put the Cleveland Show out of its misery.

There is good TV out there. However, if you are not feeling the desire to watch TV or Netflix, you can kick your January jones with a little bit of awards season. It’s your chance to look at movies like football teams and wish that Howard Cosell* dramatically did a play by play of the Oscars. I could really imagine him going “Down goes Franco! Down goes Franco! Down goes Franco!” during last year’s ceremony. It’s your only chance to wear cheese hats and boo the foul play of not nominating 50/50. I guarantee that you do not want to pass that up.

The Golden Globes airs on NBC this Sunday (check local listings) with Ricky Gervais hosting. While it isn’t going to be a spectacular show, it is the beginning of numerous other shows, including the Spirit Awards (Feb 25) hosted by former blog topic Seth Rogen. Get in and make critical choices on what the big winners are going to be when the Oscars finally arrive (Feb 26) hosted by one of my favorite hosts, Billy Crystal. While it isn’t televised, keep an eye out for the Razzies (Feb 25).

I’ll admit that it’s also very hard to write an inspired blog in January when everything seems so dull right now, but fret not. We still have 11 months of better stuff to get through. Who knows what surprises will come. If anything, use this time to anticipate and gather up steam for the time ahead. It is National Hangover Month, and we need time to recover from the previous excess dump of December. Just take care of yourself and keep watching the skis!

I mean skies.

* Yes, I acknowledge that Howard Cosell has passed on, but he’s one of my favorite personalities, if just for this scene from Bananas.

You can read Thom’s blog every Wednesday and hear him on Nerd’s Eye View every Tuesday and Thursday at nevpodcast.com. Send your thoughts to nevpodcast@gmail.com. You can also read Thom’s movie reviews for Cinema Beach at cinemabeach.com.