By Thomas Willett
“Everybody loves a clown, so why can’t you?
A clown has feelings, too. “
– Gary Lewis and the Playboys “Everybody Loves a Clown.”
This past Monday was a big night for Charlie Sheen. His show Two and a Half Men gained it’s best ratings in six years. He was also the subject of the most recent Comedy Central Roast. This guy is unstoppable, right?
The ratings hike for his CBS show had nothing to do with him. It was all because Ashton Kutcher was replacing him. He was at the roast, because it would be a little awkward to do it without him. Is this redemption for Sheen? No.
This past year saw him reach into the zeitgeist and land on a level only reality stars inhabit. He created his own slang, became accused of violence, and was replaced by Nikon camera advertiser Ashton Kutcher on the show he helped popularize. Most of all, the press seemed to embrace it.
I remember this past year thinking about how annoying Sheen was. I never cared for Two and a Half Men and I am not a huge fan of Hot Shots.
On my debut appearance on CCMN’s Benson’s Boombox,I was treated to a quiz by host Matthew Benson of ridiculous quotes by Sheen. I had to determine which were from movies and real life. Despite cheating (done similarly on Comedy Death Ray), I was rolling my eyes halfway through the bit because it was just some guy saying some nonsense.
I don’t believe in praising stupidity. If Sheen had shown effort, then I would’ve cared about his breakdown. No one cared that he was talking gibberish (except his family). They found it funny. I found it repulsive to glorify it. It took the world a month to catch up with my beliefs. I discovered this when I attended an improv show and a performer asked for suggestions of funny things, but emphasized “nothing about Charlie Sheen.”
So, where does this nonsense spouting guy get us? A roast hosted by Family Guy creator Seth MacFarlane on “Comedy” Central. Only 4 months after an improv performer told me not to suggest him as a puncline.
I didn’t watch it. I just didn’t think anything good would come from a guy who already set up his life as the big joke.
A few years back, I watched a roast for Flavor Flav. By then, he had fallen into the abysmal world of reality star on Flavor of Love. As a fan of Public Enemy, I thought I would watch. I had never seen a “Comedy” Central Roast before, but I figured I’d get a few zingers from the hype-man to one of the rockingest rap groups of all time.
And how about that line-up? There was Katt Williams, Jimmy Kimmel, Ice-T, Greg Giradlo, Snoop Dogg, Patton Oswalt, Lisa Lampanelli, Jeffrey Ross, and Brigitte Nielsen. These are not my favorite people, but I assumed that Oswalt would deliver.
By the end of the night, I was depressed. I should’ve known that Flavor Flav wasn’t the great hype-man at this point. He was a guy who hooked up with Brigitte Nielsen on the Surreal Life. The jokes weren’t much better. Most of them had to do with Flav being a looney who had no idea where he was. Also, the amount of African baby jokes were insane; differentiating between the dated Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie adoption frenzy and the orphans donating to Flav on account of being delusional and annorexic. It didn’t get much better, but was summed up with:
“Flavor Flav, enough with the clock. You can take it off. You haven’t had to be anywhere in 13 years.”
-Lisa Lampanelli.
Maybe that’s why the humor seemed to be overly racist and focused on a sexualized, crazy man who didn’t have anything significant to contribute.
Guests on the same program have also included: Larry the Cable Guy, David Hasselhoff, Pamela Anderson, Donald Trump, William Shatner, and Jeff Foxworthy.
It’s hard to think that if I found the special to be abysmal and crass, that I would enjoy any others. I already hated most of the subjects, and their public image had already made good punchlines on the internet.
You may ask yourself, what do I know about roasts? You just saw one special one time. That could’ve just been a dud amongst gems.
Let me tell you, I may have a limited knowledge on roasts, but because of a small (confirmed) fake feud with Benson’s Boombox’s Matt Benson and ex-co-host Ashlie Hill, I am familiar with how to set up an insult and hopefully come across as nonthreatening.
I may not love Don Rickles, but there’s a beauty to setting up a great insult. It’s an act that English majors should take to heart. Like a sentence structure, the line needs to be crisp and impactful. It should be unexpected. To say the least, 20 jokes about Flavor Flav knocking up women and being a deadbeat dad just isn’t unexpected when his real life persona fits that.
You have to take pride in your insults. Edit them. Time them. Make them have an impact. They don’t always have to disarm your opponent, but should at most create a genuine moment of awkward quirkiness. You’ll know it works if you can get a legitimate comeback. It means you are kindred spirits, and you understand how to craft a joke.
Insult humor is not my favorite. I like what I say to make you think. I like subtext, a little complexity. If it can say two things in one word, then I feel smart. If I can apply that to an insult, I’m onto something. There’s little fun in simply saying “You’re fat.” Try and apply a strategy like a compliment with a backhanded comeback, i.e. “You look good today, but couldn’t you have worn a less buldgy shirt?”
It’s not my best. I work best improvising those.
Where did I get my inspiration for craft? My grandparents owned a bunch of old Dean Martin Celebrity Roasts tapes. I never watched them, but got a set from a Goodwill many years ago. What I saw was not the best, but it was steps ahead of the Flavor Flav thing. For starters, it had comedians I admired. If it instilled anything in my brain, it was that roasts shouldn’t just be about insulting the guests’ real downfalls. I’ve heard great insults about Don Rickles simply failing at life by putting a sock on a Christmas tree and watching it die.
I also noticed something the recent roasts lack: character and charm. Anyone who has seen a Dean Martin Celebrity Roast will know who Foster Brooks is. For everyone else, he’s an updated W.C. Fields. For those who still don’t know, he’s the alcoholic comedian. His delivery of burps and stutters was his charm. He wasn’t the funniest, but even when his jokes failed, it was fun to laugh at him. It actually felt like there was some class.
With it being on the main TV stations in the 70’s, it had more standards and practices to follow. However, the jokes were always cleverly set up, and if they didn’t work, someone else would have a good comeback. Most of all, Dean Martin had class as the host and made it seem respectable. Everyone was equally as pathetic in their jokes, which made it easier to take in. Snoop Dogg setting up a joke to quote a song from Dr. Dre’s “The Chronic” lacks class.
This all could be because I just love the old school style of comedy. I love the preparation of a punchline. It is a majoring-in-English fetish for me. It’s a love of language. The old comedians were about surprise and unexpected results. It still exists, but has been overshadowed by shock jock material.
In closing, I would like to commend one set of values that seem to be held by the subjects. On an episode of WTF with Marc Maron this week, guest Lisa Lampanelli went on about how she became the Queen of Mean. It was during a Chevy Chase Roast that Maron was also part of. Lampanelli claimed that she only roasted people she loved. Maron was uncomfortable with the concept and felt that he actually made Chase feel bad. Two sides to the same thing, and I feel most cases are more in Maron’s camp nowadays.
Does anyone really love Charlie Sheen as presented in that roast? That improv performer obviously doesn’t. The world’s obessed with his gibberish, but you cannot make a two hour event out of jokes about funny words. I have no suggestions on how to fix it besides cut the run time and not focus on hookers and bad shows. Pick subjects that are not already pathetic. Dean Martin managed to pick his stable friends, and it didn’t feel like they were bullied.
However, if you like these roasts, I’d like to hear why. I know that there are some funny people, including the late Greg Giraldo, but the crass nature and easy targets doesn’t do much for me. I will see these people perform sets, but insult the downtrodden? I don’t know.
You can read Thom’s blog every Wednesday on nevpodcast.com and also read his reviews at Cinema Beach. Tell us what you think at nevpodcast@gmail.com
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