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| Scene from The Spirit |
Tis the season to be jolly. It's time to gather the family around the fire and look at the beautiful, ornament-filled tree. It's also time to pull out a few holiday classics and relish in their heartwarming atmosphere. However, there are a few "Christmas" movies that you probably should steer clear from if you want to please everyone in your family. In the case of new releases, Christmas Day (December 25) has long been a dumping ground for the last great movies of the year, and it's resulted in some staggering results. While most will likely fill you with the holiday spirit, these 10 titles will only make you uncomfortable, resort to spiking the egg nog and wishing that there was a blackout. The following is a look at the inappropriate films since 2000 that have only made the holidays far more confusing than they need to be.
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| James Franco in The Interview |
The Interview (2014)
What needs to be said about this movie that hasn't been said? It's a film that notoriously almost made stoner comedian Seth Rogen responsible for World War III (on top of the Sony Hacks). Even if the film didn't raise any eyebrows that way, its subject about assassinating Kim Jong-Un is likely to not fill you with the holiday cheer. It is essentially a political satire as done through stoner comedy, the familiar homoerotic nature of Rogen and James Franco's chemistry, and the entire arc hinging on whether or not Jong-Un goes to the bathroom. Yes, there's plenty of espionage and murder, but the film still is only suitable for those willing to put up with jokes about Miley Cyrus' genitals and several jokes on par with "Hate us, cause they anus." Otherwise, it's a very strange thing to watch with your family.
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| Leonardo DiCaprio in The Aviator |
The Aviator (2004)
What could possibly be so terrible about Martin Scorsese making a love letter to classic cinema? Well, you clearly never saw The Aviator: a story that follows the life of eccentric mogul Howard Hughes. While it could be enough to focus on his influence to film and aviation, there's plenty of behind the scenes moments that really are questionable. There's his various affairs with actresses that already give off a skeevy vibe. Add in his increasingly crippling O.C.D., full of repetitive phrases, and you're starting to understand the dark side to the prestige picture. Beyond all this, it's hard to think that any family would want to watch Hughes isolate himself in a room while naked and urinating into mason jars. It's a decline into madness that makes for a great film, but it doesn't give the best reassurance about you as a person.
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| Scene from Les Miserables |
Les Miserables (2012)
The obvious place to start is with the title, which translates into English as "The Miserables." From there, it doesn't get any better as the opening song states "You'll always be a slave." and within the first half hour features a very theatrical death of a mother who sacrificed her health for her child. Add in terrible businessmen, conflicting love triangles, deaths at the Battle of Waterloo, suicides, and travelling through rancid sewers - and you get a general downer of a musical. Even the final moments of the film are emphasized by the death of its protagonist as the triumphant, unifying music plays. While some will likely get annoyed by the constant singing, it's not exactly the most optimistic film otherwise to enjoy with your family. It is likely that you'll be crying by "I Dreamed a Dream," and it only gets sadder from there.
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| Clive Owen in Children of Men |
Children of Men (2006)
Even if it's the film that proved that director Alfonso Cuaron was here to change cinema, it wasn't all that smart to release the film on Christmas Day. Nothing about the film feels appropriate, especially the general vibe that the human race is dying and most women are infertile. Even the film's high points are mired in violence that is sure to make you both exhilarated and depressed. Even if the film is a technical achievement, there is nothing about its best moments that scream holiday cheer. The famous car ambush scene alone is full of death and destruction the likes of which go against the Christmas spirit. It's a film that likely insinuates that you're better off if the family lineage dies. If that's you, then you probably just need a hug.
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| Bradley Cooper in American Sniper |
American Sniper (2014)
While it may be the best performance of Bradley Cooper's career, one needs to not look further than the controversial divide that this film received. For some, it was an ultimate sign of patriotism. For others, it was a disgusting embrace of violence. No matter what side you fall on, there's no denying that watching a film about "The deadliest sniper in American history." is not a reassuring way to spend Christmas. Beyond the idea of Chris Kyle's career choice, it's a film with a lot of focus on the harrowing experiences of P.T.S.D. and being incapable to adjust to citizen life. The film may be a powerful look into a complicated issue, but it still will throw everyone into a depression after opening presents (possibly even mistaking some of the wrapped packages as bombs, and nobody wants that).
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| Scene from The Revenant |
The Revenant (2015)
The very plot line of this film may be enough to convince you that this isn't great holiday entertainment. The story follows Hugh Glass, who is left for dead after being mauled by a bear. He goes on a quest to seek revenge. Once you add in the complicated production history, you'll get spoilers of how this masochistic experiment disguised as art will not bring out the best in your family. Leonardo DiCaprio essentially risks his health by swimming in ice cold waters, eating strange delicacies, sleeping in animals, and fighting his co-stars in the snow. If you're into sadistic abuse for Christmas, this may be the film for you. For everyone else wanting to enjoy the nice things about the holiday, then you probably should wait awhile to enjoy a film about how nature is a miserable place to survive.
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| Scene from The Spirit |
The Spirit (2008)
It may not seem like a terrible idea to release a superhero film for the holidays. The genre has only become more beloved with each passing year. However, Sin City director Frank Miller attempts to adapt "The Spirit," and produces a baffling vision of what many consider to be a more subpar version of his own work. It's largely forgotten for a reason, even if it stars Scarlet Johansson and Eva Mendes as femme fatales. The visuals are silly looking and poor and the story isn't much better. However, if there's one thing that's going to not get the mood right for the holidays, it's the appearance of Samuel L. Jackson as the villain. While this isn't the worst part, the scene in which he reveals himself to be a Black Nazi is definitely among the most unexpected things to be shown on Christmas Day. You won't believe it exists, but it does. You can watch it here. Warning: will cause a serious case of laughter.
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| Samuel L. Jackson in The Hateful Eight |
The Hateful Eight (2015)
Unlike the other films on this list, the marketing seems to at least acknowledge that it's not a great idea with the slogan "Spend the holidays with someone you hate." In typical Quentin Tarantino fashion, it's a film that pits several violent psychopaths in close proximity of each other and watches as each one picks the other off. It's full of violence, racism, sexism, and even whole monologues about rape. It's an unpleasant experience, thanks largely to the unpleasant people you're stuck with. While the film itself is fine, it is one of the few on this list that will at least make you thankful that your family isn't as dysfunctional as anyone here. Even then, good luck getting the family to want to watch a movie that features a whole lot of women slapping and blood puking. It really ruins the mood.
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| Scene from Django Unchained |
Django Unchained (2012)
Where to start with Django Unchained? It's a film about a black slave who kills extremely racist white plantation owners. If the " n " word offends you, then this film is very offensive, and possibly even worse than the cartoonish violence. The film isn't subtle and chooses to express racism in an orgasmic fashion, including in a close-up visual of a man getting his eyes gouged out. Still, Christmas Day offender Leonardo DiCaprio (five total releases) is among the worst as a slave owner who enables his slave to kill another man as he is mauled by a dog. It's gruesome and uncomfortable and also rather funny. Even with the tacked on love story, there's not a lot to find here that will please everyone. Better just stick to the old classics than even consider this one for a second.
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| Scene from The Wolf of Wall Street |
The Wolf of Wall Street (2013)
There's something strange about thinking that there ever will be a year where Leonardo DiCaprio doesn't have a Christmas release that will just make your family outing uncomfortable. In the case of this Wall Street black comedy, he gives one of his most unapologetic performances while doing enormous amounts of drugs and even more women. The subject alone is one that should annoy you and will likely make those unwilling to find greed and codependency funny off in their own world. However, it is probably the many, many orgy scenes that will keep the family from ever trusting you to pick a movie ever again. It's a movie about bad people behaving badly, which is something that goes against the very idea of Christmas, thus making this arguably the least likely candidate for your holiday viewing pleasure.
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